Hey Baby...Come Here Often? By Dr. Leslie Kaymen

Babies in Bars

Delicious, I was just enjoying a heady Chimay, can I get you one? A sippy cup with a big girl cup back? Ill leave the bottle on the bar; I hear your learnin how to use your hands.
Sounds like an adorable scenario…for addiction.

Babies take in their entire environment.  Everything from a depressed magician at a children’s party to Frankie D who always sits at the same bar stool at the local watering pub. They both seem harmless, but planting seeds always seems harmless, until your growing a beanstalk. Babies learn by call and response. They cry and get something. They see you order at the bar and when the drink comes, they see you smile, because that is what is going to take ‘the damn edge off the day.’

If you do decide to take your baby into a bar you are increasing their projected time in therapy by three years. So keep it short and drink light liquors such as gin and tonic. These spirits have a calming effect because of their transparency and propensity toward rainbows.

And make sure you tip your waiter with a copy of my book- ‘They Left, You’re Left- A guide to the Uterus’ Empty Nest Syndrome.

Please feel free to write me with any questions you have and perhaps you’re question will get answered right here in my blog. If you’re questioned is picked you will get a personalized autograph photo of me and the knowledge that you are winning the war against parenting.

Hello, I'm Dr. Leslie Kaymen

Dr. Leslie Kaymen 
OBGYN (Oh Bee Gee Why Enn) 
and Parent GPS

Hello I’m Dr. Leslie Kaymen. Doctor of Pre and Post Partum Depression, Author, Parent Whisperer- 
Game Changer.

So you have decided to upgrade your parenting – good for you.

The way you parent determines the outcome of your child’s life. In other words- will your child be helping society? Or on the other side unhelping it?

For years, parents have been bombarded with information on what to do and what not to do. Leaving them lost on along the windy, bumpy, pothole-y road unable to find the hood where parent lives. That is where I come in. I am your parent GPS. I will tell you where to go, how to get there, and recalculate your parenting when you take a wrong turn. When you decide to take a trip to parent ‘hood’. Just plug me in. With my guidance, unflinching correctness and gentle aggressive nurturing. You will learn to grow with your child if not at your child.

Let’s Begin…

And so it begins...

I love embarking on journeys. I just got back from my first official vacation. It was in a tropical place for a friend's destination wedding. This vacation changed my life. I like chicken now. I know- if this was a book you would have dropped it. That kind of life change would shake anyone hearing of it. I have always used chicken as an extension of my fork for which to get a good grip of mashed potatoes and any other side that was in the mix. I never ordered chicken and I never planned to. We stayed in a villa where meals were cooked for us and pina colladas were delivered before noon without judgment. We had chicken for several lunches and it was awesome. I found when I got back to my everyday I was craving it. I was amazed. I finally craved something that was healthy. It changed my perspective on everything. So it got me thinking about all my characters and their perspectives on things.  Dr. Kaymen, one of my favorite characters came to mind. She is a Baby doctor- or 'Parent GPS' with a take on parenting that will have people winning best parent in no time. I wondered what it would be like to get her tweeting, blogging and getting her take on the wild, scary stories we read about raising children everyday. There are so many people I have created that I would love to explore for the sheer joy of seeing what happens.  So here I am starting a new chapter with the characters I create. Sending them out on their journeys. As I write this I have a pina colada in hand made by myself with a blender I got three years ago and have not touched. This leads me to Dr. Kaymen's take on bringing Babies into Bars. A hot button issue that has sparked drunken debates in suburbs and select cities everywhere. So let me raise my mini umbrella topped glass (yep bought some in the airport on the way home) and toast this new journey. I hope you have fun on the ride.